Give me a D! My thoughts on DRAMA

Drama has made murky the once clear waters of my personal life. I came from a family that didn't easily get offended or hold grudges - especially among family. We had peace in our own family and extended. I don't mean to be callous, but rather matter-of-fact regarding what I think helped my family get to that loving place. My brother was diagnosed with brain cancer at the age of 9 and passed in a very traumatizing and painful death at 11 years old. A reality like that makes you realize gossip, a criticism without tact or a broken promise are REALLY not that big of a deal when it comes to keeping a friendship alive. I grew up understanding human nature. Even a person with the best intentions can hurt you, but it's not the mistakes that matter - it's what happens afterwards.

The person on the receiving end of a damaging action or comment has many options on how to respond, both inwardly and outwardly. They can make the choice if they will stay angry, cry for hours on end or let it go. They can make the choice to wait until they're calm to respond rationally, react instantaneously when they're at the peak of their emotions or shut down and hate everybody. They may also choose to have a conversation with that person, opening with what hurt them, what they wish would have happened and what they expect in the future. They can conjure up an attack that will hurt that person an equal amount or even more to make them suffer as you feel you have. They can ignore the person and make them dead in their own mind (while this may haunt them later, it could be their only safe option if they find themselves on the brink of getting into major trouble).They can also approach the offender with a hug, forgiveness and ask to move on.

I am surprised that Jerry-Springer or movie-like scenarios and behaviors play out in real life as well. I grew up in a cocoon of understanding and forgiveness. I also had the completely false belief that adults did NOT behave like children. We get irritable and cranky when we're hungry, tired, have a headache. We tattle-tale, hit back and scream louder - though it may have an adult twist to it, it's true.

Alas, I will tell you being an apologetic, humbled offender isn't a cozy place to be. As much as I recognize what I've done wrong and apologize, I cannot force the offended to forgive me and move on. Being such a strong personality, I could probably say 10-15% of what comes out of my mouth could use a stronger filter. I speak my mind, I have no problem pointing out something wrong a person did to me or expressing my opinion that could be very different from the one of the person I'm talking to. They don't know I am merely speaking my mind and attempting to get constructive about it for the future. Those who know me understand I never say anything to hurt anybody, but really to address it and build from it. Anyway, I am a person of a strong will. If I hurt you, I will try everything to make it right. A few who hate my guts may never read this, but I hope one day I can send it to them :)

Dear loved ones,

Seasons have come and gone since we've happily spoken,
words were said and hearts were broken.

I've begged and pleaded to be together again,
don't you see it's a matter of how and when?

We know stories of people that were lost without warning,
siblings and parents regret atop their own mourning.

Matthew is your brother, your friend, your son,
I am the wife he's chosen, whose heart he's won.

He's been torn between me and others before,
at times I'm oil to his water, this makes his heart sore.

God is one of love and also one with a plan,
"to be together forever" includes the wife with the man.

By cleaving unto me, as he was commanded,
he's been forced to lose others as the situation demanded.

It's been more than 9 months and a year,
from me there are words you're still seeking to hear.

I am who I am, I feel how I feel,
I learned a harsh lesson for my lips to seal.

We are commanded to forgive even the worst of foes,
when it comes to our hearts, God only knows.

I've sent letters, phone calls, texts and e-mail,
I'm resorting to rhyme because I'm a desperate female.

We all make choices of what to hold and let go,
it hurts to see family is two and one is sans soul.

This is my last option, my last aching plea,
could you find even one reason to be at peace with me?

Love,

Amy

In conclusion, if you have been hurt or offended by someone in days, weeks, even years past... if they have reached out to you and apologized. Do yourself a favor and forgive them. 

Someone feel free to put it here, I can't find the author of the quote, I've only found anonymous...

Thank you for reading.